Things a real life commentator would say, watching a FIFA 15 match

“Slightly misplaced that pass out to the wing, but he should keep the ball in play. Oh, well he should have easily kept it in play, but couldn’t seem to get to it for some reason. Very strange.”

“He’s making the run forwards, that’s a lovely ball over the top, he’s running onto it… Oh he stopped, not sure why, but he just stopped and let the defender take the ball.”

“They’re under the cosh now, they just can’t win the ball back! That’s 25 tackles I’ve counted now, where the ball has bounced straight back to the opposition.”

“Ohhh, they’ve been opened up again by the chip over the top, they just don’t seem to be able to defend against it, that’s the eighth time this match. Why aren’t they marking the strikers when they make their runs? Pub league defending!”

“They’re a goal down late in the second half and really need a goal from this corner. Surely both centre backs should be going up for it! No the 5’7 full back has gone up instead. That’s a very strange decision.”

“He slightly misplaced the pass, but the player still should have got to it, but for some reason he just stood there and let the opposing player get the ball. Maybe he just didn’t want to move.”

“This a great run, takes on one, takes on two, takes on three, cuts inside to shoot… Ohhhh, his own player ran in front of him and blocked the shot!!!!
Weird.”

“What a great moment for the players and fans, as they lift the cup to a roar of joy. That’s strange, I can only hear the losing team’s fans singing now. I thought the winning fans would be singing their anthem, having just won the cup.
I really don’t understand football anymore.”

“There seems to be a strange new trend amongst away football fans now. Seems that if a team is wearing their away strip, all the away fans copy them and also wear the away shirt. Still, looks better than Burberry caps and Henri Llyod jackets, I suppose.”

And the assistant referee holds up the board to indicate how much injury time will be played.
Has to be at least three or four, considering the injury, five substitutions and four goals…

ONE MINUTE! How is it one minute?
I’ve never, ever seen one minute injury time at the end of a game before.
The ref’s Mrs must have his dinner on the table or something.
Incredible.The ball’s launched forward by the keeper, the centre back wins the aerial battle and executes a nice cushioned header out to his full back.
Oh, not sure what happened there, it looked like a nice little header that the full back should have easily got to. But the ball seemed to speed up all of a sudden, like it was on AstroTurf, and results in a throw in to the opposition, in a dangerous part of the pitch.
Very strange, both players look bemused by what just happened.

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